Traumatic bonding, also referred to as trauma bonding, is the process of an abuse victim developing a strong emotional bond with the perpetrator of the abuse (not with other survivors of the same abuse). The two main factors that contribute to the establishment of a trauma bond are a power imbalance in the relationship (e.g., whether the abuser has control over the victim in some way) and intermittent rewards and punishments. Intermittent rewards and punishments means that the abuser will be violent or cruel one day, and then be kind or loving another day; the victim endures the abuse in the expectation that the abuse will be temporary, albeit in a recurring cycle of abuse that predictably returns to abusive behavior. Trauma bonding is not an emotional bond between survivors of a shared traumatic experience. Trauma bonding can occur within abusive romantic relationships, platonic friendships, parent-child relationships, incestuous relationships, cults, hostage situations, sex trafficking (especially that of minors), hazing or tours of duty among military personnel. Trauma bonds are based on terror, dominance, and unpredictability. As the victim develops a stronger emotional bond with an abuser, it can lead to cyclical patterns of conflicting emotions in the victim. Frequently, victims in trauma bonds do not have agency, autonomy, or an individual sense of self. Their self-image is an internalization of the abuser's conceptualization of them. Trauma bonds have severe detrimental effects on the victim. Some long-term impacts of trauma bonding include remaining in an abusive relationship, adverse mental health outcomes like low self-esteem and negative self-image, an increased likelihood of depression and bipolar disorder, and perpetuating a generational cycle of abuse. Victims who develop trauma bonds are often unable or unwilling to leave these relationships. Many abuse victims who experience trauma bonding return to the abusive relationship. The concept was described by psychologists Donald Dutton and Susan Painter in the 1980s.
Recent developments and contemporary research
Weaponized attachment Weaponized attachment is a pattern of manipulation in which an emotional bond, formed through shared trauma, emotional vulnerability, and intense affection, is deliberately created then exploited to control another person. By recognizing that abusers intentionally cultivate then exploit emotional attachment, Mags Lesiak reconceptualizes trauma bonding as a strategic system of coercive control rather than a victim's psychological response to trauma. The emotional attachment is maintained through intermittent reinforcement by alternating care and cruelty, described as a "two-faced soulmate" profile in which perpetrators combine intense affection with sudden withdrawal, secrecy, or hostility to create psychological captivity even without physical force. Weaponized attachment shifts the focus of trauma bonding to the intentional actions of the perpetrator and has implications for policy and frontline practice. It is argued that risk tools measuring domestic partner violence need to consider coercive control as a mechanism of abuse with or without recent physical violence. The framework also suggests that professionals in mental health and social work should be trained to recognize the "two-faced soulmate" perpetrator profile and their intentional actions and use a weaponized attachment lens to place responsibility on the perpetrator's manipulations rather than the victim's psychology.
Context In the 1980s, Donald G. Dutton and Susan L. Painter explored the concept of traumatic bonding theory in the context of abusive relationships and domestic violence. This work was then further studied in the contexts of parent-child relationships, sexual exploitation, and more. Patrick Carnes described trauma bonding as "the misuse of fear, excitement, sexual feelings, and sexual physiology to entangle another person." Traumatic bonding is also described as "[a] strong emotional attachment between an abused person and his or her abuser, formed as a result of the cycle of violence." Carnes also studied traumatic bonding theory in the context of betrayal, which involved the exploitation of the victim's trust and/or sense of power by the abuser.
Establishment Trauma bonds are formed in abused-abuser and/or victim-victimizer dynamics. A victim can form a trauma bond with an abuser in the presence of a perceived threat from the abuser. Trauma bonds also form when the victim believes the abuser will follow through with a threat, when the victim perceives some form of kindness from the abuser, when the victim is isolated from outsider perspectives, and when the victim perceives a lack of ability or capacity to leave the situation. The first incident of abuse is often perceived as an anomaly, a one-off instance occurring at the beginning of a seemingly healthy and positive relationship that is often not very severe. Furthermore, the expression of affection and care by the abuser following the incident pacifies the victim and instills in them the belief that the abuse is not recurring. However, repeated instances of abuse and maltreatment later generate a cognitive shift in the victim's mind: that preventing the abuse is not in their power. When the inability to escape the abuse becomes apparent, the emotional trauma bond is already strong. Two main factors facilitate forming and continuing a trauma bond: a power imbalance and intermittent reinforcement.
… excerpt ends here. Continue reading the full article.
